More B2B buzzwords that get on your tits
Words that fly in the face of the good practice principles you might hold dear.
Words which make you do a face when you hear them.
Words which make you roll your eyes so much that, when they come back round to their original position, your eyeballs ache.
Whilst the use of some jargon can be appropriate for certain industries and audiences, what's left is a playlist of utter twaddle.
There are many more words to expose, so, following on from the first article, we pick up where we left off, with more buzzword crap nominated for a good old fashioned punch in the face.
“<something>preneur”
Used with some nouns to make nouns meaning a particular kind of person who sets up and runs a business.
How it works in your head -
You: “I’m a <title>preneur.”
Other person thinks: “Wow, they must be a real high flyer, creating businesses and turning them into huge successes. They must be so innovative, business-minded, and focused.”
How it works in reality -
You: “I’m a <title>preneur.”
Other person thinks: “Oh what a prick. Who calls themselves a ‘preneur’?”
Craig Wright, Freelance Technical Writer and Copywriter at Stray Goat
“Unique”
Very special, unusual, or good.
When you describe something as ‘unique’, you undermine the very essence of what it means to be a copywriter.
Your job is to paint a picture. To dig deep down into your product or service and find a new and creative way to tell people why it’s so good.
Yet saying something is ‘unique’ does not mean it is inherently good.
A turd is ‘unique’.
Each one is different. Some are darker than others. Some have an almost noble integrity. Others are just a right bloody mess.
Each one is undeniably ‘unique’.
But each one is still, ultimately, a piece of shit.
A good copywriter should communicate what makes something ‘unique’. They should use the huge vocabulary and vast experience at their disposable to inspire, illuminate, and elevate. They should not just fall back on generic words like ‘unique’.
It is why – in my mind – it’s the weakest and laziest word to describe anything. It’s a sure sign the copywriter is not really firing on all cylinders. Creativity has certainly left the building.
Glenn Fisher, AllGoodCopy
“Solution”
A way to solve a problem or to deal with a bad situation.
The most meaningless word on the planet.
There isn’t much I haven’t seen. Tech solutions. Compliance solutions. HR solutions. And even — wait for it — meal solutions.
Mother of god!
I get that you want to solve my problems. And I appreciate it.
But I’m going to need to know how you actually propose to do it before I part with my money.
André Spiteri, Maverick Words
“Unrivalled”
Better than everyone or everything of the same type.
You actually believe there's nobody in the whole world who can rival you?
What. An. Ego.
Let's be honest, there's probably someone doing exactly the same as you just down the road. OK, maybe you'd need to look a bit further afield... but to say there's nobody in the world who can compete (because that's exactly what you're saying)... you arrogant, narcissistic idiot.
You might be good at what you do. You might even be the best. None of that means you don’t have rivals, competitors and newbies sneaking up on you to challenge your "unrivalled business". Pompous peasant.
Megan Rose, Freelance Writer
“Growth hacker”
An IT professional who uses elements of marketing and market research, along with technology and technical strategies, to provide marketing solutions to clients or employers.
Stop using the term growth hacking, you're embarrassing yourselves.
Content marketing can't be 'hacked'.
It's about being honest, genuine and valuable.
Laura Parker, Freelance Content Writer
“Thought leader”
One whose views on a subject are taken to be authoritative and influential.
So you’re the leader of thoughts? All thoughts?
Er, no.
Do you control people’s minds? Wait, are you Obi Wan Kenobi? Are you here to get me to sign up for your course without me even realising? HOLY SHIT - YOU’RE OBI WAN!
Tee-hee. You’re funny. I’m not Obi Wan.
So what do you do then?
Well, I’m an individual that prospects, clients, intermediaries and competitors recognise as the leading authority in business, and the go-to guy for ideas and opinions. Like a guru, with more rounded, stronger thoughts.
Cool. I come up with ideas too. And sometimes opinions. But I’m just a writer. Did you call yourself a thought leader?
Yes.
Mate.😑
Moral of the story: If you call yourself a thought leader, you’re probably not a thought leader.
Gareth Hancock, Freelance Content Writer, That.Content.Shed
”Optimise”
Make the best or most effective use of (a situation or resource)
“We’ve optimised our process”
That sounds fantastic, but what the hell does it mean? Be specific! Tell me exactly what you did – and how that makes my life better. You cut the middle man to reduce costs, making your product cheaper? Great! Tell me that – not that you’ve optimised something. It’s fluff. Cut it. And stop my eyes from bleeding.
Heine Aaen Hansen, Freelance Copywriter
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